Keep It Going Louder in conjunction with the Slam Zuckert Institute of Cultural Opinions Present…

The Best Songs of the 2010s

“If you disagree, fight me”

A Quick Note: Song lists are always tricky because if we were really doing the “best” songs of the decade the list would probably be half Kendrick, Kanye, and Lana Del Rey and that would be a terribly dull list so I’ve decided to spread the love and not include more than one song from any given album unless unavoidable. Let’s have some fun.

#100 – “Bangarang” by Skrillex
          Listening to this song feels like: Getting hit in the head with a sledgehammer made of pulsating rainbow-colored LEDs
#99 – “Evil Boy” by Die Antwoord
          Listening to this song feels like: Jou ma se poes in ‘n fish paste jar
#98 – “Work from Home” by Fifth Harmony feat. Ty Dolla $ign
          Listening to this song feels like: Arriving at the beach on a hot summer day with a cooler of spiked seltzer and the shore awash with taught and supple bodies celebrating your arrival
#97 – “Old Town Road (Remix)” by Lil Nas X feat. Billy Ray Cyrus
          Listening to this song feels like: Letting go of your pretension and enjoying a meme
#96 – “Survival Tactics” by Joey Bada$$
          Listening to this song feels like: An old school hip-hop revival meeting

#95 – “Timber” by Pitbull feat. Ke$ha
          Listening to this song feels like: Attending the dumbest themed party you’ve ever been to and having a great time
#94 – “Poetic Justice + Cups” by Isosine
          Listening to this song feels like: The end of the mash-up era
#93 – “Post to Be” by Omarion feat. Chris Brown & Jhene Aiko
          Listening to this song feels like: Making friends with the most obnoxious person at the bar and guilty enjoying their shenanigans
#92 – “Love Sosa” by Chief Keef
          Listening to this song feels like: Anger management class with a blunt and a double cup.
#91 – “Jazz” by Mick Jenkins
          Listening to this song feels like: A poetry reading in a submarine
#90 – “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi feat. Daddy Yankee
          Listening to this song feels like: Cross pollination
#89 – “Closer” by The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey
          Listening to this song feels like: The idiotic joy of youth
#88 – “Drink In My Cup” by Kirko Bangs
          Listening to this song feels like: Leaving a bar at 1am to meet up with a special friend
#87 – “Purity of Heart” by Krill
          Listening to this song feels like: Basement shows in Jamaica Plain
#86 – “Contact High” by Architecture in Helsinki
          Listening to this song feels like: Blowing bubbles in a pastel colored room

#85 – “Rum & Red Bull” by Beenie Man & Fambo
          Listening to this song feels like: Hitting the dance floor after consuming five or six of the titular beverage
#84 – “Rainbow in the Dark” by Das Racist
          Listening to this song feels like: Being at the Pizza Hut AND the Taco Bell (on Jamaica Ave)
#83 – “Tuesday (Remix)” by ILoveMakonnen feat. Drake
          Listening to this song feels like: Throwing a party at your childhood home while your parents are away for the weekend
#82 – “Bitch Better Have My Money” by Rihanna
          Listening to this song feels like: Asserting yourself accordingly
#81 – “Yonkers” by Tyler, the Creator
          Listening to this song feels like: Your angsty alter-ego breaking free

#80 – “Hey QT” by QT
          Listening to this song feels like: Getting transported to a pop concert on Pluto
#79 – “Oui” by Jeremih
          Listening to this song feels like: Walking out of an Italian restaurant after a perfect date, wine drunk and stuffed with pasta
#78 – “2 Phones” by Kevin Gates
          Listening to this song feels like: Being one step ahead
#77 – “22” by Taylor Swift
          Listening to this song feels like: Pondering the relative nature of time
#76 – “Florida University” by The Dream
          Listening to this song feels like: Running into your ex at a party; you with a new partner and them begrudgingly single

#75 – “Headlines” by Drake
          Listening to this song feels like: Being strung out on compliments and overdosing on confidence
#74 – “Diane Young” by Vampire Weekend
          Listening to this song feels like: Enjoying a rowdy brunch at an upscale eatery
#73 – “Amen” by Meek Mill feat. Drake
          Listening to this song feels like: Stepping out of your ride and cutting the line at the club
#72 – “Lean On” by Major Lazer & DJ Snake feat. MØ
          Listening to this song feels like: Being drunk in public during the daylight hours
#71 – “How Does It Feel” by Kamaiyah
          Listening to this song feels like: Flexing after winning $5 on a scratch-off

#70 – “Cheap Thrills (Remix)” by Sia feat. Sean Paul
          Listening to this song feels like: The goofiest karaoke duet possible
#69 – “Reagan” by Killer Mike
          Listening to this song feels like: History class taught by Killer Mike
#68 – “When I Was Done Dying” by Dan Deacon
          Listening to this song feels like: An adventure through space and time
#67 – “The Wire” by HAIM
          Listening to this song feels like: Learning from your mistakes
#66 – “Norf Norf” by Vince Staples
          Listening to this song feels like: Getting away from the police

#65 – “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele
          Listening to this song feels like: Proving everyone wrong
#64 – “Molly Girl” by Lil Durk
          Listening to this song feels like: The end of a party where only the strong survive
#63 – “Hot Pink” by Let’s Eat Grandma
          Listening to this song feels like: A robot gaining sentience
#62 – “Goldie” by A$AP Rocky
          Listening to this song feels like: Walking through a smoke-filled doorway into a packed bar, light refracting through the gem-heavy decoration.
#61 – “Titanium” by David Guetta feat. Sia
          Listening to this song feels like: Scoring a goal in a youth soccer game

#60 – “Love Yuh Bad” by Popcaan
          Listening to this song feels like: A dancehall metamorphosis
#59 – “Hard in the Paint” by Waka Flocka Flame
          Listening to this song feels like: A lot of bodies moshing into you all at once
#58 – “Type of Way” by Rich Homie Quan
          Listening to this song feels like: Dropping the top of your whip
#57 – “New Rules” by Dua Lipa
          Listening to this song feels like: Thinking through all the reasons to not make a bad decision then making it anyway
#56 – “Adorn” by Miguel
          Listening to this song feels like: Lighting candles and laying out rose petals

#55 – “Di mi nombre – Cap. 8: Éxtasis” by Rosalía
          Listening to this song feels like: Flying low in the desert
#54 – “212” by Azealia Banks
          Listening to this song feels like: Bopping around NYC
#53 – “Mirrors” by Justin Timberlake
          Listening to this song feels like: Looking into and through your heart
#52 – “Whorehouse” by ceo
          Listening to this song feels like: Skipping through a field of rainbow flowers in low gravity while neon peacocks flutter above
#51 – “I Follow Rivers” by Lykke Li
          Listening to this song feels like: Taking a pack break on a nice long hike

#50 – “Levels” by Avicii
          Listening to this song feels like: The best moment of a frat party
#49 – “DNA” by Kendrick Lamar
          Listening to this song feels like: An explosion of flow
#48 – “Fineshrine” by Purity Ring
          Listening to this song feels like: A warm hug from a supernatural spirit, unclear if it’s from above or below
#47 – “Karate” by BABYMETAL
          Listening to this song feels like: A heavy metal concert colliding with an anime convention
#46 – “Good as Hell” by Lizzo
          Listening to this song feels like: Looking at yourself in the mirror and feeling on top of the world

#45 – “N****s in Paris” by Jay-Z and Kanye West
          Listening to this song feels like: Seventeen encores
#44 – “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen
          Listening to this song feels like: Sunshine and bubble gum
#43 – “Electric Lady” by Janelle Monáe
          Listening to this song feels like: A dance party on a spaceship
#42 – “Counting” by Autre Ne Veut
          Listening to this song feels like: The world collapsing and expanding around you
#41 – “Trap Queen” by Fetty Wap
          Listening to this song feels like: A party quickly starting

#40 – “I Don’t Like” by Chief Keef
          Listening to this song feels like: The opposite of “My Favorite Things”
#39 – “Bodak Yellow” by Cardi B
          Listening to this song feels like: All the women at a club rushing the dance floor and two-hand shoving any men out of their way
#38 – “Novacane” by Frank Ocean
          Listening to this song feels like: Eating a big breakfast at your favorite diner the morning after a wild house party
#37 – “Holocene” by Bon Iver
          Listening to this song feels like: Sunday morning in the mountains
#36 – “Oblivion” by Grimes
          Listening to this song feels like: A ride on a punk-rock unicorn

#35 – “Shine Blockas” by Big Boi feat. Gucci Mane
          Listening to this song feels like: Stankionian Independence Day
#34 – “Mr. Fete” by Machel Montano
          Listening to this song feels like: Carnival in Trinidad
#33 – “Giving Up the Gun” by Vampire Weekend
          Listening to this song feels like: Winter turning to Spring
#32 – “Blood on the Leaves” by Kanye West
          Listening to this song feels like: Being at a club in NYC at 4am when you’re should be home in bed
#31 – “Gangsta” by tUnE-yArDs
          Listening to this song feels like: Watching a marching band that forgot all their instruments and decided to get new ones at the dumpster behind the computer lab

#30 – “The greatest” by Lana Del Rey
          Listening to this song feels like: The greatest love of them all
#29 – “Ultralight Beam” by Kanye West
          Listening to this song feels like: Being deeply flawed and still daring to stretch towards the heavens
#28 – “Prom Night” by Chance the Rapper
#27 – “No Problems” by Chance the Rapper feat. 2 Chainz & Lil Wayne
#26 – “Juice” by Chance the Rapper
          Listening to these songs feel like: Putting a city on your back

#25 – “Hold You” by Gyptian
          Listening to this song feels like: Dinner on the beach far away from all your worldly problems
#24 – “Jealous (I Ain’t with It)” by Chromeo
          Listening to this song feels like: The funkiest argument you’ve ever had
#23 – “Nice for What” by Drake
          Listening to this song feels like: Being Drake
#22 – “Helplessness Blues” by Fleet Foxes
          Listening to this song feels like: Tilling the soil in your garden on a Saturday morning after a tough week
#21 – “Words I Don’t Remember” by How to Dress Well
          Listening to this song feels like: Walking home at 3am not knowing if the relationship is over

#20 – “Your Best American Girl” by Mitski

This Holiday season run, don’t walk, to your nearest store to pick up this year’s hottest gift,  Your Best American Girl™ doll! The Your Best American Girl™ doll has it all: romantic longing, regret, and even a bass line that drags you into Mitski’s explosive chorus that you’ll never want to end! The Your Best American Girl™ doll comes with a little spoon you can use to search for your big spoon and a blanket you can use to lie down on while you look up at the stars and ponder your fate in this cruel, cruel world. Your mother may not approve of the way you raise Your Best American Girl™ doll, but I do! I think I do. All-American Boy™ doll sold separately.

#19 – “Cold Little Heart” by Michael Kiwanuka

#18 – “All Delighted People” by Sufjan Stevens

Bring on the long songs! Clocking it at over 10 minutes “All Delighted People” and “Cold Little Heart” are both epic musical journeys that are graceful, heartfelt, and beautiful. Back to back they’re about 22 minutes in total which is the perfect length for a short walk. Here are a few 20ish minute walks that you might consider while listening to these lengthy gems:

Boston: Start at the Hatch Shell on the Charles River Esplanade, walk towards Mass Ave., then walk across the Harvard Bridge. What a view!

Chicago Suburbs: Start at the Bahá’í House of Worship in Wilmette then walk along Sheridan Rd. to the Grosse Point Lighthouse. Look at all those mansions!

San Diego: Walk along the La Jolla beaches for about a mile. Beautiful!

Washington D.C.: Walk from the Washington Monument to the National Portrait Gallery. Be sure to check out Kehinde Wiley’s portrait of Obama!

Dublin: Walk from the Jameson Distillery across the river to Grogans Pub. Have yourself a Guinness!

Paris: Walk from the fountain behind the Palais de Chaillot to the Arc de Triomphe. Get yourself some culture!

#17 – “Nosetalgia” by Pusha T feat. Kendrick Lamar

Recipe for Virginia Beach-Compton Rap Souffle

Ingredients:

2 – Best Rappers Alive

1 – Scorching Beat (preferable produced by Nottz, Kanye West, and The Twilite Tone)

12 oz  – Reflections on the impact of Cocaine

1 – KRS-One Sample

10 lbs – Dense lyrical wordplay

Directions:

Allow beat to fully defrost then reduce in a saucepan over low heat until smoking. Place the two rappers on the still-sizzling beat at high heat and slowly stir in reflection on cocaine and dense lyrical wordplay. Let them cook for 3 minutes and 36 seconds then garnish with a KRS-One sample from “The Bridge Is Over”.

Serve hot.

#16 – “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)” by Jamie xx feat. Young Thug and Popcaan

Could there be a more perfect 2010s collaboration than a guy from an English indie band most known for their silence producing a track for a genre and gender bending Atlanta rapper and a Jamaican dancehall artists? Through some act of musical witchcraft Jamie xx, Young Thug, and Popcaan meld perfectly in this ode to lust, love, and hedonistic celebrations. A Delightful sample from the The Persuasions lets all three artists flex their musical muscles; Jamie xx’s production is vibrant and alive, Popcaans’s hooks are smooth and cool, and Young Thug is perfectly outside of his mind with his spastic flow and mind-melting lyrics. Hop in a stroller and enjoy the ride.

#15 – “Hey, Ma” by Bon Iver

#14 – “Cinnamon Girl” by Lana Del Rey

According to Oxford Reference, recency bias is “a common distorting effect within systems of performance appraisal. It refers to the appraiser assessing employee performance, not on work undertaken across the full performance management cycle, but only on recent events or activities that can be readily recalled. Recency bias can be countered by keeping a record of appraisee performance over the full period of work that is being appraised.”

One would be wise to keep that in mind and let a song sit and stew for a while before putting it in their top 20 songs of the decade…but we’re pressed for time and both of these songs are excellent so I’m going to plop them right here. “Hey, Ma” feels like a spiritual sequel to Bon Iver’s seminal “Skinny Love”; his decade of musical collaborations and experimentation is poured right back into his music and a longing and enthralling ode to maternal and romantic love (I think?) was birthed. “Cinnamon Girl” is my personal favorite from Lana Del Rey’s excellent Norman Fucking Rockwell; mournful and hypnotizing, Lana Del Rey rips out her heart and offers it to us on a sun-soaked silver platter. With some of the decade’s finest lyrical zest, Del Rey’s flowing vocals, and Jack Antonoff’s masterful production “Cinnamon Girl” is a beautiful gut-punch of a love song that will hopefully hold up well or else I’ll look quite foolish. Two incredible tracks, only time will tell how prophetic/myopic my musical vision is.

#13 – “Countdown ” by Beyoncé

Bump this song to (ten)

You’ll feel dressed to the (nine)

All the decadent foods you (eight)

Musical heaven to the (seven)

Boo coupe riding down the (six)

Beyoncé hands, give em (five)

For you this song is (four)

Company you need (three)

Bouncing with your (two)

This song’s the (one)

#12 – “Seasons (Waiting on You)” by Future Island

3/3/2014

Dear Diary,

Today I was performed on the Late Show with David Letterman and I think it went pretty well. The percussion was tight, the synths were sweeping, and the bass was a-boomin’ but I must have really inspired Sam Herring, the lead singer of me, because he put on quite a show. He was more visceral than when he sings me in the studio but I kind of liked it. He dipped and bounced and jabbed and it made me feel special because so often when people perform my other song friends they get caught up in trying to look cool instead of being true to us, the songs. After all, if people want to hear the perfect version they can buy me on the album, when I get to be played live I like to be belted from the bottom of someone’s soul. I like to think I contained that all along. Plus it tickles when Herring growls my lyrics like that. Anyway, when I was done and Letterman hopped from his desk yelping, “Buddy! Come on!”, I knew I was going to be something special. I think they’ll post a video of it online soon, I hope people like me!

 

#11 – “Alright” by Kendrick Lamar

#10 – “Swimming Pools (Drank)” by Kendrick Lamar

Here ye! Here ye! King Kendrick has a decree for all those who strive for the throne!

Have ye released an exhilarating song about alcohol abuse and inner turmoil? Have ye created a rapid-fire “Fight the Power” for a new generation? Nay I say! Only King Kendrick can lead us into battle against existential dread, peer pressure, institutional racism, and lame rhymes! I say, I say, His ideas are huge yet the songs are immensely personal. What other King dig this deep within himself before exploding outward in a fit of rap genius? Who else could make a jam like “Swimming Pools (Drank)” that finds him wrestling with his conscious while the party rages on around him? Who else could strive for justice while attempting to reconcile his hope for the future with his grim view of the present like in “Alright”? Who ?!

There is no one in all the land who possesses the technical wizardry of King Kendrick and no one in all the land who can unleash monster hooks with the snap of a finger. He is no mortal man and should not be treated as such! Any who dare fight for the crown be warned, it is a perilous journey and you will not succeed!

All hail Kendrick Lamar! Long live the King! Long live the King!

#9 – “Pyramids” by Frank Ocean

A

ten-minute

long journey through

Egyptian queens, adult entertainers,

sultry beats, and rousing vocals, Ocean’s “Pyramids”

is a wandering masterpiece that grips you from the start and

doesn’t let go. Ocean takes us on a spaceship ride through genres and styles,

muted yet flamboyant and mesmerizing as he croons an epic directly into our psyche.

#8 – “Elastic Heart” by Sia

Sia Kate Isobelle Furler, better known as Sia, is an Australia force of nature who after years of wrestling with love and loss has recently been diagnosed with an Elastic Heart. She explained her symptoms to be not being able to conquer love, snapping and moving fast when being pulled too hard, and trusting no one. This has caused her skin to thicken and her heart to turn to elastic. Taking her musical ability and emotional maturity into account it is unlikely to be fatal however there is still cause for concern about lasting damage and emotional scars. For treatment we recommend that she continue to produce soaring pop bangers, visit Diplo and Greg Kurstin for scintillating production on a regular basis, and shoot more bananas music videos with Shia LaBeouf.

#7 – “The Mother We Share” by CHVRCHES

Close your eyes and open your heart, let Lauren Mayberry’s voice nurture you
Hear, listen, think, feel as Iain Cook turns his post-rock past on its head to make ethereal power pop
Visualize Martin Doherty as he writes the melodies that will score your dreams
Roll around in the grass and look up at the sky
Come in misery where you can seem as old as your omens
Hold yourself and those you love
Everything won’t be perfect, but we can make it better
Submerge yourself in pop perfection

#6 – “Dancing on My Own ” by Robyn

#5 – “Call Your Girlfriend” by Robyn

Body Talk – A Short Play

Some Club, New York City

CYG, brutal and exhilarating, walks onto the dance floor and slides up next to a dancing DOMO, wistful yet joyous.

CYG: Call your girlfriend. It’s time you had the talk.

DOMO: I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her…

CYG: Give your reasons, say it’s not her fault.

DOMO: I’m right over here, why can’t you see me.

CYG: But you just met somebody new.

DOMO: I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the guy you’re taking home.

CYG:  It won’t make sense right now but you’re still her friend

DOMO: I just came to say goodbye

CYG: Don’t you tell her how I give you something that you never even knew you missed.

DOMO: So far away but still so near.

CYG: It’s so different when we kiss

DOMO: Does she love you better than I can?

CYG: The only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again.

DOMO: I keep dancing on my own.

CYG: Call your girlfriend. It’s time you had the talk.

CYG walks off stage, DOMO continues to dance.

#4 – “Midnight City ” by M83

In the summer of 2012 I was a counselor at an overnight summer camp in Wisconsin. It was my third year as a counselor; I was 20 and most of the other counselors were 18 or 19, so naturally I felt like hot shit. I also listened to way better music than most of the other counselors (as you would expect from someone who is hot shit like I) so I took it upon myself to show all the youth that there was another way besides Disney soundtracks and lame radio pop. Thus, every morning I would wake in my tent (we lived in large tents erected on cement platforms, they fit about a dozen bunk beds) and blast “Midnight City” to wake everyone up. The piercing opening riff, the panoramic synths layered upon each other smoother than electronic silk, the ambient and beautiful vocals, and of course that sax solo all combined to make for not only a perfect alarm but also a transcendent musical experience to share with the knucklehead kids. After being inundated with M83 for enough time they asked for “more songs like that” and I gave them my finest selection of indie bangers. Some were hits (they loved Passion Pit) some were flops (I played Dan Deacon for them one night and they all yelled at me to turn it off because they said it was scaring them) but we all had a ton of fun exploring the musical worlds that will hopefully turn some of them into snarky music snobs like yours truly. Long ago I stopped being able to dissociate “Midnight City” with waking up as summer camp, every time I hear the opening BAAAMP-OOOMP-BAAAMP I remember the feeling of reaching over for my speaker to queue up “Midnight City” and get ready for another day on top of the world.

#3 – “The Morning” by The Weeknd

Case Number: 3BSOTD

Incident: Assault with an Unstoppable Song

Date of Incident: March 21, 2011

On the night of the incident Abel Makkonen Tesfaye, better known as The Weeknd, “dropped” the album titled House of Balloons and shortly thereafter it was noticed that all those who listened were assaulted with an unstoppable song. In each case the assault is said to have started a little more than 14 minutes after the album began and the assaults all lasted for 5 minutes and 15 seconds.

Sworn statements from listeners described an intoxicating feeling during the assault, they said they received a rush of memories from their wildest nights and were left with a sense of longing for a post-midnight meeting with past romantic partners even though they knew they would regret it the next day.

The song in question is said to be armed with a hypnotic guitar riff, seductive vocals, atmospheric synths, and a vicious snare roll. All of these were allegedly produced by Doc McKinney and Illangelo. The lead suspect is “The Morning”; it’s last known address is Track 4 on House of Balloons, it is still at large, and is considered to be very dangerous.

#2 – “Runaway” by Kanye West feat. Pusha T

#1 – “All of the Lights” by Kanye West

To Whom It May Concern,

I hope this letter finds you well. Our names are “All of the Lights” and “Runaway” and we are writing you to apply for the position of The Two Best Songs of the Decade. We realize that applications are usually submitted separately but we believe our unique sonic connections and contributions would warrant a joint application for two songs as long as those two songs are us.

Between us two there is everything you can ask for in this role. I, “All of the Lights”, am first and foremost a team player. I’m an enthusiastic collaborator and you can see that in my work with Rihanna, Kid Cudi, Tony Williams, The-Dream, Charlie Wilson, John Legend, Elly Jackson, Alicia Keys, Elton John, Fergie, Ryan Leslie, Drake, Alvin Fields, and Ken Lewis. Not only do I work with teammates but I strive to make them better; remember how I plucked Fergie from the edge of the musical abyss and gave her a perfect bridge? I am also not afraid to take charge when needed, The-Dream is an incredible singer but who else do you know would have the insight and the courage to put him behind Elton John?

Are you looking for someone who is consistent yet unpredictable? I, “Runaway” contain that in multitudes. I move with ease from a hair-raising piano intro to a self-deprecating yet cocky verse and chorus, then when you think you’ve figured me out BOOM sizzling Pusha T verse (I too am a good collaborator but not as prolific as my friend) BAM extended vocoder solo ZOOM back to the piano to continue my endless ode to myself.

Yes there are newer and fresher songs that us but we think our age is an advantage to the role. Great songs come and go, yet we remain. Every Kanye song since has just reinforced our greatness. We are the foundation of the most ambitions, groundbreaking, earth-shattering, ear-splitting, mind-blowing album this century and while we don’t always believe the MVP is always the best player on the best team, in our case we think this maxim holds.

To close, we are hard working songs with a passion for being the best and we think we would make great candidates for the two Best Songs of the Decade. We look forward to hearing more from you about the opportunity and if you have any questions we can be found on Kanye West’s seminal 2010 album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. You are encouraged to listen to us at any time. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

“All of the Lights” and “Runaway”

Slam Zuckert is a municipal bureaucrat. He sees a lot of movies and reads a lot of books and sometimes writes about them. His favorite movie is There Will Be Blood, his favorite mathematician is Georg Cantor, and his least favorite mathematician is Leopold Kronecker.